请高手给改改，能表达客气又不过分就行

大家好，请高手给改改，能表达的客气友好但不过分讨好就行了。英文水平不行，尺度自己把握不住，请大家批批。

I am really interested in the field of XXXX and have heard a lot about Red River College from my friends who used to be a student here.  

RRC is one of the most successful colleges in Winnipeg and the teaching staff focus on helping students to build a career and enhance quality of their life.

Moreover, personally, I gained lots of help from International Education Office and left me a deep impression of hospitality.

I would be grateful if I could have a chance to be a member of RRC family.

晕，看来是过分客气了。我这不是感谢信，是想作为申请信和资料一起递交。
我改改去。